The articles referenced below are designed to help you learn more about issues related to finding and keeping relationships (or perhaps having some fun in your relationship!).
Class Reunions are Happening Again!
Class reunions are happening again. This results in feelings of anxiety for many people who open the mail and see the announcement of their upcoming class reunion. Anxious thoughts come for many reasons – often for Boomers and Seniors it’s about attending alone. Continue Reading…
How to Find a Mate After 50
A fifty-something, divorced woman, asks the question: “Where have all the good men gone? It seems that all the men I meet are either married or gay.” This is not the first time I have been asked this question. Men have asked me the same question. My response in both instances is the same: “There are many appropriate, eligible men (women) out there, you just have to know where to look.” Dating at 50-plus is different than when you were in your 20s or 30s. Continue Reading…
5 First-date Mistakes to Avoid
When you are over 50 and starting to date after a divorce or the death of a partner, you may feel a little adrift. You realize things have changed a lot since your old dating days, but you’re not quite sure of the new rules of the game. You may even wonder whether it’s worth the hassle of trying to meet someone new. “I’m here to tell you that, yes, it is,” says the author. Dr. Schwartz offers five tips on dating after 50. Read the article here.
Dating After 60: You Still Got It!
Dating as a Boomer is different than dating as a 20 or 30-something. No less exciting, just different. When we are past of career building years and beyond parenting, we must change our expectations as well as our approach to the dating world. Romance and sexual activity are important throughout one’s life. Unfortunately, however, many boomers and seniors have given up on the notion of having romance and sex in their later years. They think that they are “too old for that sort of stuff” and have all but given up on thinking that they will have a romantic partner and sexual life in their later years. I wish I could dispel that notion. Romance and sexual activity can be a part of your life until you die! Read the article here.
Am I Going To Date Forever?
This is a question that date-fatigued boomer women frequently ask, sometimes right before deciding to quit dating. Although taking a break is a quick fix for date fatigue, the magnitude of boomer dating burnout warrants a discussion deeper than weariness. The author shares what he has gleaned from dating, date coaching, and thousands of comments on my dating articles from his Huff/Post 50 readers. Read the article here.
The Undeclared Dating War
The author contends that many men are amongst the walking wounded, suffering from failed relationships, who have declared an unspoken war with women. The result is that is that it has created an unnecessary tension between men and women in the dating arena. This article is intended as a wake up call and not solely to help men date more successfully. It’s about the invaluable relationship lessons learned from authentic friendships, the intrinsic value of unconditional camaraderie and the type of support only other men can offer a man. A man without authentic friends lives in an emotional vacuum.
The simplest way to end the undeclared war is for boomer men and women to date on an even playing field. To that end, it would help if the boomer guys who lack relationship skills, develop some, preferably with other men. I urge women to be patient with men who make the effort. Make love, not war, remember? Read the article here.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating After 50
“My situation is fairly typical. After juggling two children and a demanding job, my first marriage ended in divorce. I had given it some hard thinking, but my relationship with my husband, which began when we were both in college, really couldn’t make it for the long haul. So I opted out…Thus began a long period …, in which I helped usher my two daughters into adulthood, and devoted more attention to my career. But I was awfully lonely. It didn’t help that I went straight home from work every night and stayed in on weekends.”
In this article the author tells us of her journey into the dating world and shares with us what she has learned. Read the article here.
Before You Give Up On Dating, Read This
The author claims, “I make very few guarantees, but as they say in advertising ‘I can virtually guarantee’ there is someone out there for you. Perhaps a diamond in the rough, an unexpected stranger, or dare I say it… your mother’s friend’s son (oy vey). It might even be an old pair of shoes that with a good spit polish will dance you off into the sunset.” Read the article here.
Whether using email, texting, Twitter, Facebook, or other social media, people are constantly looking for ways to connect with friends and family. People boast about the number of LinkedIn connections, Facebook friends, Twitter followers. People text when at restaurants, in theaters and movies, at concerts, on the bus, or even when walking down the street. There is even an app designed to keep these text-walkers from bumping into each other as they text. The psychologist-author of this article raises the question of whether people are starved for connection or whether social media is the cause or the solution for feeling disconnected. Read the article here.
The Power of Love Scripts
If your romantic relationships follow a repetitive pattern that’s confusing to you, it’s time to acquaint yourself with the power of love scripts. This article provides three examples of how love scripts get played out. Continue reading…
Why do boomers divorce so much more than everyone else?
The national divorce rate has been hovering around 50% until 1996. Since then the divorce has been dropping to about 40% EXCEPT for Boomers. Their divorce rate been going UP since 1996. In this article, Dr. Bella DePaulo, a visiting professor at UCSB, discusses some of the reasons for this phenomenon. Continue reading….
The “It” Word in Just Do It!￼
JUST DO IT! Stop complaining. Stop procrastinating. Stop whining. Nike got it right. It usually takes more time and energy to resist doing something than to just do it. Continue reading…
I Think I’ve Forgotten How to Date
There you are, staring at yourself in the bathroom. Then, unsure, you seek a fuller picture and go straight to the full-length mirror in the bedroom. Gut check. Front and back. Could be worse. Could be better too, but let’s not quibble. Continue reading…
Getting Someone You Love to Change
Sometimes the more you try to make something happen, the less success you have. This is often true when you’re trying to get someone you love to change. The change you wish for may make a good deal of sense. Continue reading…
…But I Love Him!
One of the best things about “being in love” is that you feel really good about yourself. It’s not only that you perceive the other person as terrific; it’s that you feel terrific about who you are and what you’re about. Yes, emotions are contagious. Continue reading…
Two Sides to Every Story
Of course you’re smart enough to know that there are two sides to every story. But is that what you’re focused on when you’re in the midst of a heated argument? I doubt it! Not if the rational part of your brain has skipped town leaving the emotional part in charge. Continue reading…
Gay, Older and Dating: I have survived, now what?
If you are reading this, you may be an older gay, lesbian, trans or bisexual person – which in our community could be anyone over 40 – and looking for love. Continue reading…
The Importance of Validation
On Oprah’s final episode of her wildly popular TV show, she highlighted the importance of validation. “I’ve talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show and all 30,000 had one thing in common. They all wanted validation.” Validation. What is it? Continue reading…
Constructing a Conversation
A game of catch goes nowhere unless you have a partner who catches the ball and throws it back to you. Similarly, a conversation goes nowhere unless you have a partner who listens to what you’re saying and responds in a way that keeps the conversation going. Continue reading…
FREE FOR ALL!….a May-December Relationships
May-December relationships are common in life, but not easily accessible in online dating. Old barriers have fallen and disappeared in today’s dating and marriage world. Gay marriage, Cougar dating, Young ladies dating and marrying older men, have now become the common happenings in everyday lifestyles. Continue reading…
Commentary: Newly single baby boomers will find a changed landscape
As Valentine’s Day approaches, we thought it might be a good time to look at how finding love in one’s 50s and 60s differs from the search when one is younger. What we see repeatedly in our clinical practices is that because single boomers have been out of the dating world for so long, they are unfamiliar with the new rules of the game. Many are ill-prepared to jump into the digital dating scene, since it makes them feel like commodities to be sold on the open market. They are unsure of how to go about finding and initiating dates. Some turn to “matchmakers” because they find it too daunting to find someone themselves.
And even when they try, they too often lack the skills and good judgment in building and sustaining relationships in ways that increase their chances of finding a suitable partner. Others just keep making the same, impulsive, shortsighted mistakes. Read the article here
Dating Later in Life? Consider Lite Dating
When dating later in life you need to find what is best for you. After a marriage or long term relationship has ended, most people don’t know what to do next. Here are some tips on how to get going after the end of a long relationship or marriage.
First Impressions are Very Important
First impressions are very important, especially for online connecting with others. Often people get a bad vibe or impression from a person when they first connect or meet. Then, after a while they warm up to the person because of various reasons. Continue Reading…
Making Internet Dating Work for You, Part 1
Match.com, J-Date, e-Harmony, Christian Singles. These, and many more, are the portals to the wonderful and terrifying world of Internet dating. Internet dating is a part of contemporary life in the U.S. and around the world. Continue reading…
Making Internet Dating Work for You, Part 2
In my last article I advised that because of the anonymity of the Internet you should proceed with caution. People often are not honest about who they are and tend to present a false image (literally in the case of their photo). Continue reading…
Online Dating Challenges When You’re 50 Plus
Are you single and wanting to meet someone? Not sure what kind of relationship you’re looking for? Do you need to locate someone to share your house, along with the rent? Are you seeking a friend who likes to go out to restaurants, or to the movies? Maybe you’re looking for someone to share your travels. Continue Reading…
Surviving a Long Cruise
Many people have asked this question “don’t you get bored when spending days at sea?” especially when thinking about taking a 30-day or longer cruise. After taking a 52-day cruise from Vancouver to Singapore, the author of this article interviewed herself in an attempt to answer the many questions her friends had asked about spending so much time away from home with days between ports of call. Read the article here
Cruises for Singles.
Vacations-to-Go is a website that specializes in pulling together a variety of cruises especially for singles. Cruising is one of the most enjoyable and convenient ways to see the world. Whether you are looking for a Hosted Singles Cruise with a fun-loving group or you are merely trying to find the lowest possible price for a solo traveler, your might want to check out this website if for no other reason than to give you a sense of what’s available. Read the article here.
Yukon Ho! on the Alaska Highway!
Donna Hull, publisher of the My Itchy Feet blog, had traveling the Alaskan highway on her bucket list for quite some time. When wildfires attacked her Montana homeland, she decided it was to hit the road…a road trip to get away from the smoke and fire. The road trip turned into an adventure of a lifetime. Continue reading…
Matching with a Travel Companion
Single people who like to travel often don’t take advantage of traveling to some wonderful places because they don’t want to travel alone. Not wanting to travel alone may be because of various reasons. Places that have a reputation of romance often can feel depressing to a person traveling alone. Continue reading…
Vacation on Chesapeake Bay for Singles 50 and Over
Summer is here and our thoughts turn to vacation. A great place to vacation for singles 50 and over (or for anyone for that matter) is the Chesapeake Bay region. If you like water-oriented recreation, fresh air, great seafood, beautiful vistas, boating, fishing, bay cruises, quaint historic towns and sunsets over water, then the Chesapeake Bay is for you! Continue reading…
The Big Chill
How much will I need to retire and still have enough money to enjoy the recreational activities that I enjoy? This is a question often asked by people who are about to retire. The average boomer estimates he or she will need $40,900 a year (in today’s dollars) during retirement to cover recreational activities and living expenses, according to a study by Allstate Financial. Here are the top 10 ways they plan to spend on leisure activities, and the amount they expect to spend on their chosen pursuits. Read the article here.
10 Popular Baby Boomer Activities
This article includes a list of the most popular boomer activities ranging from staying fit to dating to changing careers. If you are looking for ways to take charge of your life and avoid just getting old, check this out. Remember, age is on the calendar but youthfulness is a state of mind! Read the article here.
3 Lessons On Aging We Can Learn From Robin Williams
We’ll miss you, Robin. But, you showed us sometimes through laughs, sometimes through tears, how to trample the ordinary. You sounded your barbaric yawp from Hollywood’s rooftops. We thank you for it. The fact that we believe he died so young says a great deal about life in the 21st century. Millions of us are over age 60, the mark of our time. This is why Robin Williams has left valuable lessons that we overlook at our peril. Read the article here.
Masking Depression with Humor
Robin William’s isn’t the first comic to commit suicide. And, unfortunately, he won’t be the last. Many of these individuals appear to others to have it all. They come from “good families”, have nice homes and may even be wealthy. People cannot understand how these individuals can be unhappy. They believe that if life looks good on the outside, you must feel good on the inside. Hence, the depression goes unrecognized or may be dismissed. This article explores humor as a defense against pain. Read the article here.
Depression: When You Have It All
People think, if only I had success in life, I’d be the happiest person on earth. Yet, as Robin Williams’ suicide so clearly demonstrates, you can have fame, fortune, a loving family and still be depressed. Though I have no knowledge of Robin Williams’ inner psyche, I do know that those with wealth and status are not immune to depression. Indeed, they may even be more prone to it. Continue Reading
Are you Living a Crazy Busy Lifestyle?
Is your life “crazy busy?” Of course if you are working full time and your kids are young, it’s understandable. But what if you’re not working full time? Or your kids are grown? Or almost grown? Or you are unemployed or retired? Continue Reading
Good News for the Baby Boomer Generation
This article reviews the existing literature, including the results of longitudinal studies showing variables that predicted successful aging. Focusing on a lifespan psychology perspective of aging, the authors provide behavioral recommendations for middle age individuals that are likely to prevent disease-related disability, cognitive impairment, and late life depression. These include regular physical exercise, engaging in cognitively stimulating activities, maintaining an optimistic mental outlook, and finding meaning in life. The good news for the Baby Boomers is that there is increasing evidence that their behavior at age 50 will impact how they feel at age 80. Read the article here.
How to Modify Perfectionistic Thinking.
Perfectionistic thinking could be modified if perfectionists could transform their binary thinking into thinking on a continuum. The really worst thing about being a perfectionist is that they think in black and white. Everything is either right or wrong. They are good or bad. Smart or stupid. Strong or weak. Normal or nuts. Read the article here.
Cynicism is Bad for Your Brain.
Scoff all you want, but researchers in Finland who tested 1,449 older adults (average age: 71) found that highly cynical people were three times more likely to develop dementia than those with a more trusting, optimistic personality, according to a study published today in the journal Neurology.
Read the article here.
Grandma Gets a Reboot – How boomer women are redefining the role
The September edition of the AARP Bulletin features an article about boomer-aged women do not fit the stereotype of the gray-haired granny, but are remarkably young in behavior while in their 60’s and 70’s. The article quotes several interesting statistics:
- the average age of the first-time is 47
- grandparents spend $57 billion each year on their grandchildren
- 62% of grandparents are still working
- 53% help with educational expenses
- 43% travel more than 200 miles to see a grandchild.
Read the article here (you need to be a subscriber to the AARP to access the article
Let’s Disrupt Aging and Rethink Getting Older
The author challenges all of us to reimagine what it means to get old. Let’s disrupt aging. Let’s upend our thinking around what it means to get older. To disrupt aging, we need to own our own age. We need to get to the point where we’re no longer defined by the old expectations of we should or should not do at a certain age. Read the article here.
Youthfulness is a State of Mind
The author contends that age is on the calendar, youthfulness is a state of mind. He argues that some people are old at the age of 50 while others are youthful, vibrant, and passionate at the age of 80. Who is older the person who at 50 sits in front of the TV watching I love Lucy re-runs or the person who at 80 is out there salsa dancing? Read the article here.
Why Boomer Women Are Hot For Erotica E-Books
The author contends that men are stimulated by graphically explicit sexuality while women are drawn to written erotica. With the publication of 50 Shades of Grey there has been an explosion of published erotic material. The combination of the abundance of books, the electronic tablet and online ordering makes buying and reading erotica anonymous and available to women without embarrassment. Read the article here.
The 10 Best Places for Single Seniors to Retire.
Dating is increasingly becoming a part of the retirement years. But some cities have considerably more single seniors than others. U.S. News used Census Bureau data to calculate this list of places with the most single seniors age 55 and older. Individuals who are separated, divorced, widowed, and never married were counted as single. To improve your odds of meeting other single seniors, only metro areas with populations of over 100,000 are included in this list. This site shows a series of slides along with a description of the city and some demographics relevant to single retirees. Read the article here.
10 Ways to Calm Yourself Down.
Do you struggle with overwhelming emotions? When you get angry, sad or scared, does the emotion come at you with the force of a tsunami? Does it crush the good feelings you had just a short time ago? Does it overpower your ability to think straight? Does it engulf the positive feelings you have for a loved one? You need some tools to help you calm yourself down. Continue Reading…
Who Are the Baby Boomer Generation?
Baby Boomers were born between 1946-1964 following the end of WWII. When our soldiers came home from the war, we were in an economic boom. Young couples married by the droves and began having babies. These babies in turn created booms in many areas creating an economic surge. This article traces the development of this generation from the 50s through 2000. Read the article here.
Getting Rich After 50 Isn’t Nearly As Hard As It Sounds — Seriously
Everyone dreams of getting rich and if you’re in your 50s or older and getting by in your career and don’t have a lot saved for retirement, becoming a millionaire over the next five years doesn’t have to be a fantasy. All it takes is a change of mindset about money and an undying self-belief, so says Steve Siebold, author of the book How Rich People Think. “It’s easier to get rich at 50, even 60 or 70 than it is to get rich at 30. I don’t think there’s any question of that in my mind. Older people have the life experience that a kid just doesn’t have. Maybe [younger people] know more about technology, but we lived longer and know the ups and downs of life. In creating a fortune or financial independence, there’s going to be ups and downs. Older people have a great, great advantage. We have an advantage to get wealthier way faster. And it’s so ripe for the taking.” Read the article here.
Money in Your 50s and 60s: 12 financial nightmares for baby boomers
Sinking home equity, rising health care costs and low returns on most investments have left boomers near retirement confronting a pile of financial worries instead of happy visions of golf, grandchildren and travel. This article explores some potential financial disasters facing this generation — and tips on how to avoid them. Read the article here.
Are You Making this Retirement Mistake?
Many retirement savers are incorrectly using a popular 401(k) investment option — and are losing out on thousands of dollars in potential returns, according to a new study. Continue reading…
Do Boomers Need to Continue Working?
For many boomers, gone are the days of retirement dreams and year-long traveling notions. Many boomers are finding that the long-awaited lifestyle of leisure is no longer a reality for them. Continue reading…
Finances for Boomers are in Google Alerts every day. It seems there is a lot to think about given the fact that 77 million Boomers will retire in the next 20 years. That’s about 10,000 retirees per day. Wow! Continue reading…
Boomers and Seniors Find Income Satisfaction in Becoming Entrepreneurs
Boomers and Seniors, you knew you were a valuable asset to our nation, but did you know your entrepreneurship is adding an important dimension to your well being and to the economy of the U.S.? Continue reading…
Top 10 Health Concerns of Baby Boomers
About 76 million people were born during the baby boom years, which range from 1946 to 1964. As the first wave of these baby boomers reaches retirement age and becomes eligible for Medicare, physicians are focusing on health concerns that will become more prevalent among this generation. This article discusses the top ten concerns and what you can do to prevent them Read this article here.
Tigers Under My Bed
A memoir written by a man who underwent three organ transplants. While the author documents his journey into the world of organ transplants and organ donations, Bob tells the human story of maintaining relationships and a marriage in the face of health and financial crises. This is not a book just for organ recipients and their families; Bob shares important life lessons for all of us when faced with the challenges of life. Read this article here.
New Study Claims People Who’ve Had More Sexual Partners Report Unhappier Marriages
A widely reported new study claims that people — especially women — who have multiple sexual partners before tying the knot, report unhappier marriages down the line. The study comes to us from The National Marriage Project, which looked at relationship data collected from 2007 to 2008 of 1,000 unmarried Americans. According to researchers, the 23 percent of participants who only had sex with their spouse prior to getting hitched reported higher quality marriages versus those who had other past sexual partners as well. Read this article here.
Baby Boomers Gone Wild!
Seniors and STDs Many senior citizens are sexually active, and quite a lot of them are choosing to not “suit up” before dancing the horizontal mambo. Recognizing this fact, Medicare now offers free STD screenings for seniors. Unfortunately, as of now, only about 5% of those who are eligible for this no-cost service have chosen to utilize it, which means the tsunami of seniors swapping STDs swells onward unabated. Read this article here.
You’re Never Too Old for Great Sex
Compared with the frenzy of teen sex, older sex is also less exuberant, less like Fourth of July fireworks and more like a cozy Thanksgiving. But for many (most?) older folks, interest in sex remains strong. If you’re playful and have an open mind, it’s not difficult to adjust to the erotic changes aging brings and enjoy satisfying sex well into your nineties. In fact, as Joan Price relates, older sex can be an improvement over younger sex–bringing greater sensuality, deeper intimacy, and more erotic fulfillment. Read this article here.
The Secret of Sexy at Sixty.
There’s a difference between sexuality and sensuality. When we are young we think primarily of the former; as we age we develop more of the latter. Read this article here.
Safe Sex for Boomers and Seniors
The good news is that seniors are having sex. In the past, it was difficult for many people to think of their parents having sex. Now, people are realizing that grandma and grandpa are “doing it”. Continue reading…
You Still Got It! Dating After 60.
Many of our ideas about dating and sexuality are based on beliefs developed in our 20s. When we are no longer either able or feel comfortable with those behaviors, too many people just give up. The author suggests that perhaps we should develop new styles and behaviors for each stage of our life. The author, a clinical psychologist, suggests that as we age we should not be giving up on our romantic, sexual nature. Nor should we be giving up on the activities that we enjoy. Instead, we should be experimenting and finding different ways of doing the things we love to do. Instead of dancing the jitterbug or lindy, we find pleasure in doing the swing, foxtrot, or even a waltz. The same is true in the bedroom. Read this article here.
The Complicated Sex Life of Baby Boomers.
Divorces. Ailing parents. Boomerang kids. These days, fifty- and sixty-somethings sure are keeping busy. But that’s not about to stop the free love generation from, ahem, getting busy. The Boston Globe published this marvelous story on the sex life of boomers replete with stories people talking about their experiences. The article covers sexual experience, dating, marijuana, and a lot more.
Read this article here.
Love and Lust.
This Psychology Today article by Dr. Virginia Rutter focuses on the age-old concern as to whether good sex has to die when in a long term relationship. Studies show that long-term couples get better at sex and get more pleasure out of it. That is true of men as well as women, heterosexual and same-sex couples. Read this article here.