Despite a common portrayal, there are ways to develop happy senior couples. The following is an excerpt from Dr. Elaine Rodino who was quoted on this subject in the New York Times recently.
Sometimes even couples who have seemed to be happily married for many years may show signs of problems and unhappiness. These signs are often interpreted by others as a fact that seniors are just not happy people, and certainly, being a couple just makes matters worst. Views of senior couples as bickering and always annoyed at each other is a sad portrayal of seniors.
For those seniors who are single and contemplating dating, finding a companion or new travel buddy, these worries can be anxiety producing and deter the person from taking steps to finding that special person who can really make their life happier.
What leads to this unhappiness? How can these unhappy episodes be reduced? Eliminated?
Tips to happy senior relationships:
- Check out your own level of happiness. Are you okay with your age, the activity levels you’re enjoying, the activities you can no longer engage in?
- Are you accepting of who you really are today?
- Is there a need for a medical check-up regarding your physical capabilities?
- Is there a need for a psychological check-up regarding your cognitive skills?
- If the above three items are checked out and you feel okay about yourself, you can certainly expect to look for and find a person of similar capabilities and skills.
- Be clear with yourself just what your expectations are for someone else. Many people are blind to their own declines, think they are still the 25 year old that they were 40 years ago and look for someone who is young and therefore biologically having quite different physical and cognitive expectations.
Aging has its frustrations for most people. Those who have a sense of humor from their youth usually move into older age with that same sense of humor. Laughing at one’s trials and tribulations, medical issues, senior moments can all be very healthy and make for a happy senior life and lifestyle. Sharing that with a new lover, a travel companion, house sharing mate or travel buddy brings wonderful joy and fun to these special golden years.
Dr. Elaine Rodino is quoted in:
The New Old Age – In the Middle: Helping Unhappy Couples, New York Times, December 18, 2012, Susan Seliger.