The following tips are provided by New York residents Ava Parnass and Kathrine Hollander
Below, we have put together a list of Dating Red Flags for Women, some of them written in jest. At a later date we will compile a list of Dating Red Flags for Men.
If the profile says ‘separated’ move on to the next one. You don’t need that drama. Some men stay separated for months or years. He may never be getting a divorce and if he tells you he stays married for the insurance – run! He may be hoping to maintain both a wife and a girlfriend.
If his profile picture shows him shirtless, don’t date this man. If he doesn’t know to wear a shirt in a profile picture he has poor judgment. If he is shirtless while holding a beer, this indicates a higher level of poor judgment. Stay away. You don’t want to date a man who believes that going shirtless is an attractive quality.
If you read the profile and it’s exceptionally long, like a college essay, he probably talks too much about himself in person. He may not be a good listener. Steer clear of this profile, as well.
Always talk on the phone to corroborate your thoughts. Online personas can be deceptive and speaking voice-to-voice can be helpful in bringing the person’s character to light. Trust your instincts!
It’s not a good sign if you meet a guy and he wants to go Dutch on a first date. It’s also a red flag if he allows the check to sit in front of you, waiting for you to cover the bill. This shows a lack of generosity.
If the guy insists that you meet him at his office and he won’t pick you up, it’s another bad sign; this is not a thoughtful person (unless you live far from each other – then it’s ok to meet in the middle). That said, we are not fans of long distance dating. More often than not, long distance dating is for people who struggle with commitment issues.
If his hair is longer than yours, he has not grown up yet and likely never will.
If the guy comes on too strong and wants to make out on a first date he is not taking you seriously as dating material. It’s also a sign that he may be too needy. If he is grabbing you on the first date it’s a big red flag.
If he tells you his whole life story in one minute, along with the medication he is on, run!
If he talks about the ex-wife nonstop, is suing her, or playing the victim, run. You don’t have time for this.
If you wrote detailed specifications in your profile and the guy calls anyway, meeting none of your specifications, walk away. He is only interested in himself and does not respect your instructions.
Beyond the First Date
If he makes a lot of plans and keeps changing them, and it’s really hard to get together, and he has lots of excuses, he is probably a workaholic or he is already seeing someone else.
If he doesn’t call when he says he will or often cancels your plans, he most likely has commitment issues. Don’t buy the “I have to work again” excuse. He is either dating a lot of people or he’s not ready to commit.